Ode to the Reply-All Email

O mighty Reply-All,

wreaker of inboxes,

killer of productivity,

humbler of the confident:

You came in Tuesday at 10:23 a.m.

with the subject line "Quick question!"

and you brought forty-seven replies

none of which answered the question.

Someone said "Thanks!"

Someone said "Thanks!!"

Someone said "Got it, thanks!"

Three people said "Please remove me from this thread."

(They were not removed.)

You, Reply-All,

are the reason I take so long in the bathroom.

This poem was written during your worst thread.

Thank you.

Please stop.