Ballad of the Empty Toilet Paper Roll

There it sits upon its throne,

that cardboard tube, alone, alone,

an empty promise, silent shame—

the person who left it is not naming names.

They used the last square. Didn't replace.

Just balanced that bare tube back in place

like if they set it gently down

it wouldn't count. Like physics.

Like no one's watching. Like a crown.

Somewhere right now they're fine.

Eating cereal. Genuinely fine.

And here I am—let's just say

I've developed opinions about people

that I didn't have at the start of my day.